Victim to Victory
In my last post I shared my thoughts with you on how we as beings try to avoid pain at all cost by running away or using our default shield of Food, Netflix, Booze, Overworking or whatever your personal ‘go-to’ is. It’s totally understandable and of course human instinct to run when we’re in danger of being hurt, but by doing so we miss out on a precious gift when we’re continuously “dodging the bullet”.
What’s the gift? The gift is the deepening of our learnings in life; who in their right mind doesn’t want to become wiser and stronger?
What if nothing is happening to you or against you, but actually it is all happening FOR you?
The precious learnings, a ‘knock on the head’ gifts us, actually will enhance our skill-set and ability to deal with life’s inevitable ups and downs, giving us a much easier life at the end of it all, because this will acquire us the necessary skills to deal with obstacles more easily.
Perspective is a life skill
Now we’re getting to the point… When something comes at you, that is unpleasant, for example you lost a big client you’ve been pitching for months or your partner isn’t talking to you because you did something that upset them or you’re feeling left out of your old circle of friends. You do NOT have power over what is happening, nor over how people react but what you DO have power over is HOW you choose to approach the problem. That shift in perspective and attitude is exactly the skill that will make the difference of whether or not you grow from your experiences or not, whether you’re the victim or you’re in victory.
If you allow yourself to come from a place of victimhood, and feel sorry for yourself because your partner is pissed at you, you won’t stand a chance at learning from it, so development is stunted and things will potentially get harder in your relationships with others too.
When something arises in your life that’s difficult and you feel like running away or going into “fight mode”, try the following instead:
- Take a step back, and give yourself a day to think and get clarity, so you don’t do or say something you’ll later have to apologise for
- Remind yourself that you “Got this” and that you are safe
- Make a conscious decision to be curious about the situation at hand.
- Ask yourself why this is happening?
- What are you supposed to learn here?
- Is this part of a repeated pattern of yours?
- Ask yourself, what your part is?
- What could you have done differently?
- Be brutally honest with yourself!
- Remember that it takes two to tango, and that the other person is always a mirror of where you’re at
- Swallow your pride and go back and take responsibility for whatever your part is without expecting that the other person is ready to do the same
- Pat yourself on the back, for being willing and able to change your old ways, for not being reactive and that no matter how people responded, you can be proud of how you handled the situation, and that’s all that matters at the end of the day!
Change your energy, change your life
Choose to consciously replace the ‘victim’ attitude with curiosity and you will soon reach victory. Your whole outlook and approach to any situation at hand will be coming from a very different perspective. You will be able to see more clearly whats in front of you and what your part in it is, therefore you’ll be better equipped to solve it. You will become victorious instead of feeling you’re the victim of your circumstances.
Remember, nothing is happening to you, or against you, it is all happening FOR you. Helping you grow and get wiser.
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