What is true happiness?
Gandhi said that “true happiness is when what you think, what you say and what you do are in harmony.” I couldn’t agree more, but let’s get real for a second because for most people this is not an easy task!
Where to begin?
Balancing your thoughts, words and actions is about being crystal clear on what your values are. For example, what are my principles of behaviour? And, what do I judge to be important in my life? Often at this point we can get lost between what is correct and important in my eyes versus we’ve been taught by our parents and society at large. This is an important distinction!
Your thoughts VS everyone else’s thoughts
Seeing the difference between your thoughts VS everyone else’s thoughts requires some soul searching and possibly some guidance too, because what we’ve been taught by our surroundings from childhood are deeply ingrained in our subconscious. These subconscious thought patterns are often the very reason that misalignment between what we think, say and do has transpired.
Pin pointing the pain
If what we’ve been taught and what we personally believe aren’t aligned, then pain will arise. And if we have not learned to distinguish between these two factors, a subtle confusion will inevitably be going on inside us, as we aren’t living a life that is in alignment with our own truth of what’s right and wrong.
Defining your personal values
To help you define your personal values, ask yourself some questions:
- What values have I been taught by my family?
- What values have I been taught by society?
- Which of these values actually resonate with me?
- Which people do I admire or like?
- What attributes do they have that resonate with me?
- What attributes do I have?
- Which of my attributes am I proud of?
- You could also maybe ask a friend what they think is so special about you too
- Consider whether these are aspects that you also value.
- Take a trip down memory lane and identify when you were the most happy… What were the circumstances that made these times so great?
Remember when creating your list that it is your list, so pleasing others is not your priority if you want to use this list to help you work towards happiness.
Once you have decided what your true values are, the next step is balancing your values with other people’s values, and not letting others get in the way of what is right and wrong for you, even during conflict!
Your values are your GPS in life, they will guide you on your path and lessen the confusion or conflict we often feel inside because we don’t know how to feel about something. Take the power back into your own ball court!
Stay tuned for my next post about how to not let others define what is right and wrong for you.